I am so incredibly horny right now. I don't know why. I'd love to spend a few good hours naked with a chick but that ain't gonna happen, so...
5:06 p.m. - 2003-12-16
Holy lord jesus thank you for letting me live through the night. Thank you for not having me choke on my own puke like Jimi Hendrix.
Last night we had our company holiday party. It was at Gordon Biersche. They had a full open bar. Every drink was for free. Sometime during the night they decided to serve shots of Patron tequila like they were appetizers. They had them on giant trays and the waiters were just walking around putting them in people's hands. That's when the fun started.
We got buck wyld up in the heezy. There was lots of dirty dancing. I was molested. The waiters were molested. It was debauchery at it's finest.
One co-worker put her booty all up on my weenagicle and gave me a standing lap dance. Then I was in a monkey sandwich between two other co-workers. Then this other co-worker who is one of my friend's cousins started making out with me on the dance floor. Then these chicks from accounting kidnapped me and forced me to drink a cosmopolitan while they fed me these bon bons on a stick. Then when I tried to leave Psycho Bitch attacked me and...Remember that one song a while back by Digital Underground? The one that goes, "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom". Yeah...well...uh...yeah.
Then I went home and Psycho Bitch started molesting the waiters. She is freaky yo. I better make an appointment at Kaiser soon.
So on the way out CJ, one of the bartenders and my friend, stopped me. He said that one of our co-workers was passed out and had been puking for the last half hour. He told me that they had called the paramedics. They got there pretty fast and took him away. I don't know what happened to him. He probably had to stay the night at the hospital.
I went home an forced myself to puke. Then I forced myself to puke again this morning. I had one hell of a BART ride to work this morning. I had to get off every few stops because I thought I was going to hurl. I made it here only an hour late. There are a lot of people all messed up today. I want to be molested more.
I forgot to tell you that we set a table on fire. yeah.
9:26 a.m. - 2003-12-16
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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