Well did you?
Saturday was a fucked up, shitty ass day. It started off with me waking up at 5:30am. I'm never happy when I have to wake up that early on the weekend. So I packed my shit up and headed for the cold ass Sierra-Nevadas. My destination was Auburn.
I ran into a slight delay a little north of Berkeley when some fucked up CHP motherfucker decided it would be a good time to harass someone and waste half an hour of their lives playing 20 questions by the side of the freeway. I was driving northbound on 880, trapped doing 60 in the slow lane because traffic was heavy. I noticed that coming down an onramp was a CHP car. Right at the point at which he needed to merge on the freeway he was directly beside me. I saw an opening in the heavy traffic and moved over 1 lane to allow him to merge.
After I let him merge I looked over at him and he looked over at me. I was expecting him to wave or show some kind of appreciation. Instead the fucking pig turned on his lights, got beind me, and pulled me over. This little fucking prick had the balls to come up to my car and tell me he pulled me over because he "estimated my speed was at 71mph and this is a 65mph zone."
I would have died laughing if I didn't already know that this had nothing to do with what speed I was driving. I didn't break 65mph when I moved over one lane and even if I was going 71mph I was going at least 10mph slower than the rest of traffic, thanks to the slow fucks in front of me and beside me who had me pinned in.
So this fucking dickless motherfucker asks me to hand over my license, insurance, and registration. I did so without saying a word. Without even looking at what I had handed to him, the real reason for pulling me over came out of his mouth: "You wouldn't happen to have any weapons or drugs in this car that I should know about...now you better be honest with me"
There should be a law that allows you to shoot a crooked cop the moment he exposes himself. These assholes are the scourge of society. They make hard working honest cops have to work that much harder because of all the damage they cause.
"no sir, there are no weapons or any drugs in this car...and I didn't even break 65mph when I moved over to let you on the freeway back there, if you are even really interested in that." He replied, "well then you wouldn't mind if I searched your car?"
Boy did this fucking pig have some fucking nerve. What kind of fucking logic do they teach these fucking cops? Because I DON'T have any drugs then I shouldn't mind an illegal search of my property? You have to be fucking kidding me. If that reasoning isn't fucking stupid enough I am driving a god damn motherfucking Corvette!!! You can see everything inside it without opening the door! There is no trunk! There is no glove compartment! The seats are flat against the floor! Where the fuck was he going to search?
"What probable cause do you have for searching my car?" was my response. "You wanna tell me about any warrants you might have for your arrest, you better tell me the truth 'cause i'm going to find out anyway" was his response. Holy fucking shit was this getting insanely rediculous. Where does this fuck get off assuming that i have warrants that I have to tell him about. If he ran my plates and saw that I had a warrant out then why the questions? It would have been a felony stop, i'd be in handcuffs, and the questions would be asked at the police station. I told him, "I've never even gotten a parking ticket and this is the first time i've been pulled over so if you are hanging all your hopes on me having a warrant out for my arrest you are going to be dissapointed", with a little bit more attitude and less respect than before.
He just walked off with my paperwork and sat in his car. I had to sit there for fucking ever while this fuck was probably requesting my file from the FBI in order to find any reason to take me to jail. There was a moment where I got nervous. I didn't know how this fucknit was going to react when he realized that he had no further legal reason to harass me. Was this fucker going to shoot me and say he saw a gun?
He came back to my car after a day and a half, gave me back my paperwork, and told me to get going. I wanted to tell him to fuck off.
A few hours later I was in Auburn with none of my co-workers to be seen. I went to have breakfast and started calling them up one by one. None of them answered the phone so I left messages. While I was sitting there eating breakfast I was debating whether to tell them that i was just going to take off to Reno right away or just take off to Reno without telling them anything.
One of my co-workers called and told me that they were all about 20 minutes away. They got there right as I was finishing breakfast. Yes, I am a slow eater.
So they all arrive, except fot the ringleader who organized this trip in the first place. I told them that I was taking off to Reno and they went apeshit. They said they weren't going to let me back out. I said the fucking prick who started all this shit wasn't here so why should I. They said that he had a "last minute baptism thing" to go to and he would be there at 2pm. I told them I would compromise; I would stay until 2pm and if the ringleader wasn't there then I would take off. They agreesd.
Those sneaky fucks didn't tell me that I wouldn't be able to take my car to the kayaking spot because it was a secluded spot in the mountains and the only way to get there is by driving on this 20 mile long 4x4 trail. This left me with no way of escaping without one of them driving me back to my car.
I don't know what to say about this kayaking thing other than it sucks big hairy balls. The instructors, a husband and wife, were very nice. They were a couple of granola bars, very outdoorsy. They knew pretty much right away that I didn't want to be there and did their best to make it fun for me. Unfortunately it didn't work.
Things weren't made any better by the fact that a storm had rolled through a day earlier that had caused the river to rise greatly and flow way more rapidly than usual. And of course a second storm was rollng through the area that day also.
So we were looking at an icey cold river that was was rising and much more dangerous than it normally is. That is just the thing you need when you want to teach a bunch of amatures how to kayak.
I'm not going to waste my time telling you all about the joys of being overturned in a kayak that you have to squeeze into and claw your way out of, or about the freezing cold water, or about hitting my head on the bottom of the river. or about the mutilated hands that I have from god knows what. We were there all day long. ALL DAY LONG, as in we didn't start driving out of that goddamn place until after 6pm.
Even though I refused to get back in the water after a few hours of giving it the old college try i was still too wet, tired, and sore to go to Reno. Sure I could have driven the hour or so to get up there but what would the point be if I was in no shape to have fun? I would have checked into a room and layed there all night long. Blah!
5:14 p.m. - 2003-05-04
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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