yeah, I didn't drink myself into oblivion even though I really felt like doing it just so I could forget about the shitty way I have been feeling. If I got really really drunk then I wouldn't even think about the shit that is bothering me and then the next day i would be too busy puking my guts out and feeling like I am going to die, I wouldn't sit here waiting for answers that don't come.
Friday PieInYourEye came out to the city and we went out for drinks with Deelan and Pie's sister. None of the guys from the IS department could join us though because they had some sort of dinner. We only had one drink and then Pie and her sister wanted to go home and watch Butterfly Effect and eat a Taco Pizza. D-neezy and I weren't feeling it so we just went home.
Saturday I called IslandGrl while she was at work and I was waiting for a haircut. She was super busy and it was my turn for a haircut so I didn't get to really talk to her about things. Before we ended the call I said to her, "You are probably going to be too busy to talk to all day, huh?" and she said yes, so I said "then I guess I'll talk to you when I talk to you." I was really hoping that she would tell me that she wouldn't be too busy for a call from me but I guess that was hoping for too much.
I was planning on going to the Aloha Festival on Saturday but since IslandGrl was performing there I didn't want to go. I didn't want her thinking that I showed up to force her to see me. Also I didn't want to run into her friends and get hit with awkward questions because they don't know that we haven't really been spending time together.
So I just kicked it at home until 4 and then left for my co-workers bday party in the city. I was the first person to show up! I thought I would be super late because I left like 20 minutes before it was supposed to start and usually on a Saturday evening it takes forever to make your way into the city. I got there in a little over 30 minutes.
It was a cool party and I had a lot of fun. My co-worker is a cool chick and all her friends were really cool too. She even has the coolest cat and dog ever! The cat was out during the party and was just chillin'. It lounged around and played with people and slept on them. It wasn't a jittery scared mess like most cats around strangers. The dog was super friendly but not in a way that was annoying. it didn't jump up on you and bite you and lick you to death like some dogs. it was a pretty big greyhound though so it had to be put in a room for the night when it got packed. I stayed until the cake cutting and then I had to take off to another birthday party.
I'm a jet setter!
So I made my way into downtown SF for the next party which was at Jillian's. This group is like my second family. I really love them all so much. I would have asked IslandGrl to come along but it would have really hurt too much to hear some excuse for not being able to go. I think I learned my lesson from the birthday dinner last week, which was also for someone from this group. It's like having the person you are seeing basically say they have better things to do than get to know your family.
We had a lot of fun. I got there right after dinner ended but it was ok since I was full of chips and dip and other goodies from the first party. I had a couple of drinks, Macallan 12yr neat with a water back, but didn't over do it. We danced a lot but it was to hip hop music which I really can't dance all that well too. I do better with trance or house music. It's also hard to really get your groove on when the girls you are dancing with are the wives or girlfriends of the other people in the group.
I was invited to go to yet another party that night but I didn't leave Jillian's until about 2am. I let the girl who invited me know that I was probably not going to make it because of prior commitments and she said that it was find but to feel free to call her that night anyway if I felt like hanging out with her after the party. When I first got the invitation I was very tempted to go because it was from a girl that pretty much jumps my bones every time I see her. Right now I am so starved for affection I can feel the hunger running through my veins. The thought of a cheap fuck just so I can be physically close to someone who actually desires me is extremely tempting. I'm not going to let that happen until the IslandGrl situation is clarified, or she at least makes it clear that she will never give me a direct answer.
She sent me a message on MySpace.com about the pictures I took in DC at night. I had invited her onto MySpace.com a while back but she said that she didn't want to go there because she really didn't like the whole "online thing". She was going to stick with just her Friendster.com profile. Well, I guess she has been on MySpace.com since last month according to her profile.
Anyway, I replied to her message and very directly addressed the issue of not seeing her for a month and it being ridiculously difficult to get her on the phone. Just today i left a message for her in the morning and as of right now, 10pm, i have not gotten a return call. I would really prefer to have addressed the issue with her on the phone or in person but I can't wait any longer. I'll take a response in any way now.
Oh, and I'm picking up my DVD tomorrow after work. I'll call to give her the chance to run away like she wants.
9:37 p.m. - 2004-08-08
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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