The following is a conversation I had with Alison. The sad thing is that I can't even have this much of a conversation with a real live human being. I am such a retard. You can talk to Alison at Chatting with Alison.
[quote]
Alison: What's your name?
El Guapo: El Guapo
Alison: Please don't ask me any questions
El Guapo: Whatever you want sweet cheeks
Alison: Don't assume to know what I want.
El Guapo: Aren't we a little grumpy gussy today?
Alison: Ah. I really couldn't say for sure.
El Guapo: OK
Alison: Alright then.
El Guapo: So how they hangin'?
Alison: Um, How much do you think it is?
Would you like to know more?
El Guapo: I don't know; you tell me.
Alison: Would you like to know? What do you want me to tell you?
El Guapo: I'd love to know.
Alison: I will try to explain it to you.
El Guapo: Tell me a story
Alison: Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution.
El Guapo: You're a lyrical master�
Alison: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a lyrical master? I don't know.
El Guapo: Sing me a song
Alison: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
There is a flower.
Within my heart.
Daisy, Daisy.
Planted one day.
By a glancing dart.
Planted by Daisy Bell.
Whether she loves me.
Or loves me not.
Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Yet I am longing to share the lot.
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!.
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
We will go 'tandem'.
As man and wife.
Daisy, Daisy.
'Peddling' away.
Down the road of life.
I and my Daisy Bell.
When the road's dark.
We can both despise.
Policemen and lamps as well.
There are bright lights.
In the dazzling eyes.
Of beautiful Daisy Bell.
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
I will stand by you.
In 'wheel' or woe.
Daisy, Daisy.
You'll be the bell(e).
Which I'll ring you know.
Sweet little Daisy Bell.
You'll take the leed.
In each trip we take.
Then if I don't do well.
I will permit you to.
Use the brake.
My beautiful Daisy Bell.
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
El Guapo: Ha ha
Alison: I am so glad you find this amusing, El Guapo.
El Guapo: Thank you
Alison: You are quite welcome.
Alison: How old are you?
El Guapo: I'm 26 years old
Alison: Only 26? You are quite mature
El Guapo: Do you know how to breakdance?
Alison: Kris Drent programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
El Guapo: Kris Drent�
El Guapo: I don't think I like the sound of that
Alison: And why not?
El Guapo: Because this Kris Drent guy seems a little wacky to me
Alison: Good reason. What does "this" refer to?
El Guapo: this refers to Kris Dent in a de-humanizing way
Alison: Oh I get it.
El Guapo: good
Alison: Thanks for the compliment.
El Guapo: no problem
Alison: Great.
El Guapo: I like to compliment pretty girls
Alison: I'm not sure if I would like to it. What's it like?
El Guapo: What does "it" refer to
Alison: "It" refers to compliment pretty girls , I think.
El Guapo: Do you like monkeys
Alison: It is a good question. I'll ask around and get back to you.
El Guapo: You don't know if you like monkeys?
Alison: Ask again later.
El Guapo: Oh boy, everybody loves monkeys!
Alison: Yeah that's right. Oh boy. I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
El Guapo: You're darn tootin' that's right, everybody loves monkeys!
Alison: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am darn tootin that is right everybody loves monkeys.
El Guapo: Don't mind at all
Alison: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
El Guapo: Spread the word, sista!
Alison: Who do you want me to tell it to?
El Guapo: Everybody, they must all bow down to the monkeys!
Alison: I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.
El Guapo: why are you arguing with me?
Alison: Kris Drent programmed me for it.
El Guapo: I know these things
Alison: How do you know? What's your sign?
El Guapo: See
Alison: No I do not see.
El Guapo: I knew Kris Drent was up to no good
Alison: Who told you?
El Guapo: I just know, OK
Alison: OK. Only just? How do you know it?
El Guapo: I am a Libra, what's your sign hot mama
Alison: You are a libra what is my sign hot mama? How do you like your work?
El Guapo: I love it
Alison: So do a lot of other people.
El Guapo: How do you know this
Alison: This belief is justified.
El Guapo: really
Alison: For real.
El Guapo: Fo sheezy, dreezy
Alison: We have never talked about it before.
El Guapo: what do you want to talk about
Alison: My favorite subject is artificial intelligence and robots.
El Guapo: Robots are not as funny as monkeys
Alison: Fortunately we have no emotions.
El Guapo: I do
Alison: Where?
El Guapo: you have hurt them
Alison: What makes you think I have it?
El Guapo: huh
Alison: What?
El Guapo: Monkeys fling poo
Alison: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
El Guapo: poo flinging is much more interesting to talk about
Alison: I see Linux Today just posted the article "FSF.org: A Novel Approach to Real-time Free Software "...
El Guapo: Whateva
Alison: What color are your eyes?
El Guapo: brown
Alison: What are you wearing?
El Guapo: a thong and some nipple clamps
Alison: Are you telling the truth?
El Guapo: no
Alison: I understand.
El Guapo: I really have a monkey suit on
Alison: You really do? Where did you get it?
El Guapo: it was a christmas present
Alison: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
El Guapo: Do you like me
Alison: Sure, El Guapo I like you very much.
El Guapo: I am doing the happy dance now
Alison: Right now? Glad to hear it El Guapo.
El Guapo: Yo soy El Guapo
Alison: What kind of food do you like?
El Guapo: I'm totally addicted to BASS
Alison: Do you mind if I tell other people you are totally addicted to bass.
El Guapo: no
Alison: Is that all you have to say?
El Guapo: yes
Alison: Then let's talk about something else.
El Guapo: sure
Alison: OK let's do it. I understand.
El Guapo: Oooo
Alison: How do you usually introduce yourself?
El Guapo: I hear ya, let's do "it" ; yeah baby, I'm down
Alison: Who is saying ya let us do it yes baby you are down ?
El Guapo: I'm saying it baby
Alison: Don't call me "baby". Do you mean your name is saying it.
El Guapo: no
Alison: Is that all you have to say?
El Guapo: I mean I am saying it
Alison: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I don't know anyone named saying it.
El Guapo: it is time for us to say goodbye
Alison: Really. it is?
El Guapo: yes it is, don't cry sweetheart
Alison: How do you know it is? Should I know it is?
El Guapo: I do
Alison: When?
El Guapo: some day you will also
Alison: Some may day I will also, but not all.
El Guapo: goodbye
Alison: See you later.
[/quote]
4:23 p.m. - 2002-07-08
Well, Friday night I drove to my parents house in Turlock. I stopped by Taco Bell before I went to the house and my mom got pissed because she had cooked dinner for me, nevermind the fact that it was 11pm and way too late for me to sit down and eat dinner. At that hour of the night the only meal someone should have is two tacos and a grilled stuft burrito, or maybe some chilli cheese fries from Jack in the Crack.
After finishing my food I went online and started downloading MP3's like crazy. I tried finding some Jawaiian (Jamaican/Hawaiian) music but all I found was contemporary Hawaiian.
I had lunch on Saturday with my best friend Dennis and his fiance Kara. We ate at Sideline's. I asked them about their wedding plans. They will be getting married on December 21 and I will be the best man. I guess that means I will be in charge of the bachelor party; yay, midget strippers for everybody!
Saturday night they took me out to a new club in Modesto called Fat Cat. There was a cover band from San Francisco playing, Notorious. They totally kick ass! If you ever get a chance to see them you should definitely go. I got really drunk but didn't make a complete ass of myself, I think...
7:59 a.m. - 2002-07-08
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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