They have a website! crosstops.com
5:01 p.m. - 2004-03-05
First let me start off by saying that the best part of my job is scolding the elderly. You think they are sweet and loving and that shit but they can be just as much jerkwads as anyone else. They get very shocked when they realize that they are actually talking to someone that has no moral objections to putting them in their place. They seem to be so used to acting like assholes and having people roll over because of their age that they just can't believe that someone would stand up to them. If you have an old person that needs an ass kicking just give me a holler and I'll handle that depends wearing geriatric bastard like a flowbee in the hands of a trailer park momma.
Ok, so now what actually inspired me to update today. I bought a CD today.
Crosstops - Cloverleaf Fandango, a Truck Odyssey
It has some mutton chopped dude in flannel and a trucker hat standing in front of a semi with a bunch of hot daisy duke wearing chicks on the cover. The back cover has this little note on it:
Howdy music lovers,
This here's the Purple Chicken. That's my handle, and I drive a truck all over the world. I'm the guy that brings you everything from your beer to your pretzels, your bibles to your butt plugs, your shotguns and sauerkraut, colostomy bags and even your god damn caskets. Face it, without me your life wouldn't be shit. In fact it probably ain't shit anyway, but i'm about to change all that. Check this out, 'low beam', next time you park your rig anywhere near where waitresses or actual women congregate, crank up the Crosstops and watch 'em come running! We're talkin' wild naked women, and if they're wearing anything at all it's usually nothing more than some purple hair, nose and nipple rings and leather underwear. We're talkin' pure pussy pandemonium my friends! What your(sic) holding in your hot little ham hocks is the best god damn beaver magnet money can buy. You're one lucky piece of roadkill. Oh yeah, and as an extra bonus, you get a mess of hotshit trucker punk.
The Purple Chicken
Here is the track listing:
U.F.O & The Trucker
The Boob Song
Road Boner Blues
I'm an Accident
Beelzebub
Chainsaw Pa (fee him to ma)
The Best Ass in the West
Let's Truck Together
Shotgun Wedding
Scrape 'Em Off My Grill
Truck Driving' Man
Tree Huggers
Places to Go (People to do)
Rhinestone Cowboi
One Track Mind
Sadie Devine
Lay Me Down
Catch ya on the Flip Flop
It was in the used section but it was still shrinkwrapped and had that security tape on it so it was brand new. Total cost out the door, $5.65! So far it's been worth every penny.
Oh, and just in case you are curious this isn't an Ashton Kusher(sp?) accessory item. This album was made in 2000, way before that retard started wearing the nylon trucker hat that swept the hipsters off their feet in the not too distant past.
3:45 p.m. - 2004-03-05
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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