I totally forgot about the Monkey of the Week on Friday. I guess the Wedding and my lack of a date really got me sidetracked. Anywho, here is the Monkey of the Week!
9:15 a.m. - 2002-08-12
***Weekend Recap***
Friday I didn't do much. I had dinner with a couple of co-workers. Psycho Bitch did not invite herself this time. Afterwards I was going to go to the W suites again but I got a call and all of the guys were over at Fern's house getting drunk for the wedding the next day. I went over and had half a beer, cause i'm just a wild and crazy guy.
So the next morning I woke up and thought I would get to have a nice and relaxing day since I wasn't in the wedding. That did not happen. All of the groom's men showed up at the house early in the morning and began drinking. There Were bottles of Parton Silver, Remy Martin VSOP, and Sky vodka everywhere. Then one of the groom's men asked me for a ride to the church so that meant I had to get ready hella early because they had to be there two hours before the actual wedding. I was planning on spending those two hours chillin on the couch and just show up a half hour before the wedding.
So did I mention that it was like close to 100 degrees on Saturday? The church apparently didn't have air conditioning. Thankfully there was a liquor store around the corner from the church. I ran over real quick and bought a bunch of bottled water for myself and the people in the weddding party. Of course the groom's men did not want water, they wanted me to go back and buy alcohol. That didn't happen.
The ceremony was very nice. It was a nice catholic wedding with all of the, "stand up, sit down, kneel....
that usually goes on in a catholic church. While we are talking about religions...I forgot to mention that on Friday night the Mormon's stopped by to talk to me about Jesus and how he could change my life. The wedding ceremony finally ended but I had to stick around for like an hour while the wedding party took pictures at the church.
The reception was held outdoors at Palmdale Estates. There is apparently a retirement home for nuns at Palmdale Estates. I found that funny because it felt like we were in hell with all the heat. Everyone had to stand around and mingle from 4-6pm. Everyone said the same thing when you went up to them, "it's damn hot." There were three kegs and several SUV's in the parking lot full of hard liquor. The nuns had a great time, just kidding.
6pm finally arrived and everyone was like, "there you are you little bastard, what took you so long?" The dinner was held in a different garden so we were all herded up like cattle and shoo'ed over to the dinner area. We had to look up our name and find out table number as seating was pre-arranged. Dinner was very nice but it was buffet style which basically translates to survival of the fittest. I didn't eat much.
During dinner there was a performance by some hula dancers. They were very good. I especially liked the one with the soft jiggly belly and the wild booty. She was shakin' that thang like it was on fire. The neighbors, who were like half a mile away, were not as entertained and called the police. The police arrived and quickly assured the bride that they weren't going to do anything as these people call every weekend and try to ruin every wedding. Not getting the reaction that they wanted from the police the neighbors decided to call the Palmdale Estates people and complain about the "half naked wild animals" in full view of their house. Yeah right, in full view of your house only if you are looking through some big ass binoculars you crotchety old fart. The Palmdale Estates people made the hula dancers end their performance early and warned the MC to "not get the crowd all excited" or else they would shut down the reception.
After dinner the dancing was to occurr in the home in front of the garden. The Palmdale Estates house frau's invited themselves as they wanted to keep an eye on the going on and make sure there was no funny business. The music was apparently too loud for them so they just walked right up to the DJ equipment and started turning knobs and pushing buttons causing everything to go haywire and upsetting the DJ. They did this several times however, we didn't allow them to ruin our fun. The night ended with an old school break dancing competition, just like the good old days.
On Sunday I went to Simone's (the bride) parent's house. They had a BBQ for the newlyweds before they leave on their honeymoon tonight. Simone's family is from Europe, Germany and England mostly. They took a real liking to my Corvette. Apparently it's nothing for them to see a Ferrari, Porsche or any other european sports car that we would consider exotic. But Corvettes are considered exotic over there so they really liked being able to see one up close. I let them sit in it, take pictures with it, turn it on and off.
Today, Monday, I will do nothing but work, eat, and go to sleep. If any kind of unplanned excitement happends I'll be sure to come back and put it all in my diary.
7:59 a.m. - 2002-08-12
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
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Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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