I'm sure the excuses will all be there.
I don't know. I've heard the excuses and had every one reveal itself as bullshit. I wanted to believe them all. That's what made it so hard when I found out they were lies (or in other's points of view just a noble attempt at sparing feelings). Funny how those attempts only dug the knife in deeper and prolonged my pain.
Why say to me:
Words should mean something when you are speaking to someone who supposedly is a friend.
Why continue handling your business in a shady manner rather than being up front? Was it necessary to send me a roundabout message today to tell me that you are not just seeing someone but in a relationship without actually coming out and saying it? Is this what I deserve for the friendship that I have given you, a slap in the face?
I'm not saying that you somehow have to get my permission to do what you are doing. I don't own you or anyone else. Bottom line is we aren't together and haven't been for a long time. It's not that you are seeing someone that is causing this reaction, it's that you blatantly lied to me just a short time ago. This after telling me how you are the most real person I will ever meet, how you don't spare anyone's feelings.
Well, I guess that second part is true. You sure haven't spared my feelings. You have taken every chance you could get to hurt me and then wanted to turn things around on me when I have tried to walk away completely. You made me feel guilt when the thought of ending our friendship was just hinted at. Is the ego boost you get from my love really worth turning yourself into such an ugly person? You've shown me just how valuable you think my friendship, respect and love are.
Your words mean nothing to me now. I'll be civil if we are required to speak to each other but the beautiful person that I thought I was speaking to doesn't exist anymore in my eyes.
9:55 a.m. - 2005-02-09
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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