I wasn't able to fill you in on all of the juicy details of my weekend because Pimpbot 2000 is dying a slow painful death. The little bastard has given me damn near 8 years of service and is only now starting to poop out on me. Sometimes when I try to wake Pimpbot 2000 up he just sits there with his hard drive whining but a blank stare in his 13" eye. When he does decide to wake up and play with me he keeps some of the best games to himself. AOL will start most of the time, Netscape seems to not want to start ever for the last week or so. I think it is about time to wipe the drive clean and just leave it on as a dedicated Hotline Server. If I do that I'll give you guys the IP address so you can all come and hang out and stuff.
So now back to my favorite subject...ME!
On Friday I went out for drinks and dinner with my co-workers. One of them had friends up from San Diego. We went to Lucky 13 up on Market just past Church. I had ONE beer, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It's always entertaining to go out with the gay dudes. They tell the funniest jokes. Always about weiners and buttholes and gerbils. HEEHEEHEE.
So after drinks we went to eat at Home. It's a kick ass restaurant, yo! I wanted to just have an appetizer and five bowls of their wonderful macaroni and cheese but they didn't have much of an appetizer menu. So I had to order an entree and only one bowl of macaroni and cheese. Next time I go ther I am just going to say, "fuck it, gimmee 10 bowls of macaroni and cheese and a bib!" Oh, and their ceasar salad is the shiznit foo!
So I didn't end up going to DJ Mike's bar to check out his bartender cause I wanted to go to sleep. So that is what I did.
Saturday was the big day. The gift exchange party at our house. I spent the first half of the day cleaning my bathroom since it also doubles as the public bathroom of the house. My roommates cleaned the rest of the house since they are the ones who leave their socks and underwear and dog hair all over the house.
Then I called up The Funk and said, "foo i'm hungry, let's go get some grub." and he was all like, "Mofo watcha been waitin' fo' my stomach be growlin' homie." So we went to Fuddruckers and tried something other than their huge ass burgers. I had the rib eye and shrimps. It came with a baked potatoe, salad, and a yummy piece of bread. I got like five little cuppy things of the jalepeno nacho cheese sauce and poured it over my potatoe. It was soooo damn good.
So then we went to Kim's house and vegged out on the sofa and watched The Sum Of All Fears. It's an OK movie. My brother would probably like it since it's a "Jack Ryan" movie. I think I'll get him all of the "Jack Ryan" movies on DVD for christmas. Yep that's right, I have not done any christmas shopping yet. Well, except for the present I bought for the gift exchange party.
After the movie Mokee was all like, "we don't have a christmas tree, we need a christmas tree, I want a christmas tree now mofo's!" So we went out to get a christmas tree for Mokee in the goddam hurricane that had swept down on the San Francisco Bay Area on Saturday. We grabbed a tree and brought it back home but we couldn't bring it in the house because it was soaking wet. So we put it on the side of the house and left it there until it dried out a bit.
I went back home to wrap my gift and put it under the tree. The damn thing wouldn't fit under the tree because it was too big. I got the dopest gift exchange gift this year. It was a big ass speaker box with two 8 inch woofers and two tweeters and....NEON LIGHTS!!! The neon lights can either pulse to the mad bass or they can stay on continuously.
So people didn't start showing up until like 7pm. So I left around 7:30 to pick up my tiny friend Missy G. I went over to her house, which is an STP (Secret Tweeker Pad for those of you not in the know). There were all these dudes over doing the wacky weed and sniffing the powder or something. I was all like, "girl get yo azz out here and lets go!" I do not like being around that stuff, it just creeps me out. It's totally wack yo!
So my little space cadet comes out of her room and we jump in my car and take off. She tells me that she hasn't gotten a gift for the gift exchange so she wants to go to Albertons to pick one up (???). So I take her to the closest Albertsons and we start wandering around the ailes looking for something to use as a gift. We ended up in the liquor section and I spotted this cool corkscrew thingy. It's like the rabbit ear corkscrew that they sell at Williams-Sonoma for $130. How do I know this? Because I have the Williams-Sonoma rabbit ear corkscrew. So Albertsons is selling a plastic imitation for $20.
So then lil missy g wanted to find some food to bring since it was also a potluck on top of being a gift exchange. Don't I throw some phat parties yo? So while we are walking around she is telling me to stop breathing on her so hard and I am all like, "girl i'm like 10 feet away from you, watchoo talkin' 'bout?" So we keep walking around and she finally decides that she wants a shrimp cocktail tray thing. The didn't have on at this Albertons'.
So to make a long story short we went to another place to one up and while we are waiting in like she says, "massage me shoulders and neck." So I start to massage her shoulders and she goes, "Whoa knock that shit out! STOP IT" This of course is happening while we are in line at the other grocery store. So now everyone is looking at me like I am a rapist or something.
We went out to the car and head back to my house and I'm all like, "why you actin' all funky, monkey?" and she was all like, "i'm sorry, I did two lines of coke before you picked me up and i'm hyper-sensitive." and I'm all like, "oh." And in my mind I was waiting for the police cars and helicopters to surround my car and take me away to prison because this has to be illegal or something. We made it home without any Rodney King incidents though.
So the house was packed, we had lots of food and lots of booze. Everybody was having a good time. We had the Satellive TV going on, we had the X-Box going on, and we had the Jack Daniels going on. Some people had a little too much of the Jack Daniels though.
One of Francisco's friends was a little too drunk and was being a tad too amorous with Missy G and Fern's girlfriend, Dow (she says her name is Tee but what does she know). So when the dude finally left the party Fern wanted to follow him outside and break a bottle on his face but we couldn't let Fern do that because the dude had his wife and kid with him.
That wasn't the shitiest part of the night though. The shitiest part was when I selected my gift. I had the opportunity to steal someone else's gift or get a new one. I had my eye on the massage pad that The Funk had brought and was currently in the possesion of Arnie. Fantasies of lying face down while set to the screaming orgasm mode danced in my head, heehee. But I decided to get a new gift.
Now the reason I wanted to get a new gift is because earlier Eric had tried to select a gift and he had to be reminded that he is the one who brought that gift so it was against the rules for him to select it. Eric works in a video game store that has a bunch of cool shit in it so I thought that for sure that give would match the coolness of the massage pad. Little did I know that it was actually Eric's wife Susi that had actually purchased the gift. What did I end up with? A 52 piece make-up kit in this neat looking metal case. It opens up like a fish tackle box from the top. Alas, I have no use for make-up as my carreer as a cross dresser on the Vegas strip is not set to begin for another 5 years. So I was SOL this year when it comes to getting a cool gift.
I already asked tiny ezi if she wants it and she said, "sure." So I am going to drive by and throw it at her house on Saturday. I'll take pictures of it first and post them here so you can all see it.
On Sunday I ate, watched football, and farted.
9:07 a.m. - 2002-12-16
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
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