***SUNDAY RECAP***
Sunday I woke up feeling fresh as the morning dew...yeah right. I was awakened to the sound of my roommate banging on my door crying and apologizing. I thought that maybe she had let me sleep in and the landlord was at the front door. If only I could have been so lucky.
My roommate had backed out of the garage and struck the drivers side of my Corvette, ripping off the side mirror and leaving a nice hole in the door. This is the same Corvette that was struck by a Ford Explorer in April, demolishing the entire passenger side. It took 2 months to repair the damage done in that accident, I only got the car back about a week and a half ago. Now I have to take the car back to the shop and the entire door is probably going to have to be replaced. Ack!
The Fung Shuei freakazoid landlord came over looked at the house, made some stupid Fung Shuei "suggestions" and then let us know that the rent was not going to be raised. Thank you sooo much Fung Shuei Hoe.
After that I went to breakfast with The Funk and we planned out our day. Kim's daughter Monique (Mokee) was in town for the weekend with her friend Shahira and they wanted to go to the Alameda County Fair. I was no feelin' this idea as I had been planning for months to go to Stern Grove for the Legends of Hip Hop show.
The Funk and I argued for a bit and then I said that he could take Kim, Mokee, Shahira, and Coleen (Nipples) to the fair but I was going to the Hip Hop Legends show and that was that. So he called Mokee and told her about my insubordination. Mokee in turn called me and started bustin my balls about "not wanting to spend the day with her" and yada yada yada. So finally I gave in and agreed to go to the damn fair.
After breakfast we went to Kim's house to pick up the girls and head for the fair. Of course, being girls, they were not ready. So we waited...and waited. Then they decided that it was too hot to go to the fair and asked me more about "that Hip Hop thing." Well, I told them that there were going to be break dancers and the old school rap group Nucleus, and it was going to start in 1 FREAKIN' HOUR!
So they said let's go, and we were off to Stern Grove. We got there and it was packed. There were b-boys bustin' moves on the stage that I hadn't seen or done since I was in 4th grade. If only I still had the break dancing skill that I posessed back in the day. During the intermission Shahira let us know that she had to catch a plane back to LA and needed to be at the Oakland airport by 6pm. So everyone (except me) thought that we should leave early to get a late lunch and drop off Shahira. How wonderful!
We went to Tong Palace on Clement for some fine Asian grub. They the biggest crab that I have ever seen in a tank, a 10 pounder for the amazing low price of $180! Nipples sat directly across from me. My nickname for Coleen is Nipples because she never seems to wear a bra and her nipples are always in the poke your eye out position. Now don't get the wrong idea, Coleen isn't stacked. She's a short chinese girl with the ever so popular cute Asian A cups, so I guess she really doesn't need a bra to support anything. Maybe they should make a nipple restraint device for the extra nipply amongst us.
9:51 a.m. - 2002-07-01
***SATURDAY RECAP***
I spent Saturday cleaning up the house because the landlord and realtor where going to be doing their annual walk-thru on Sunday morning. There really wasn't much cleaning going on as the place is pretty much clean all the time. The only area that needed much effort was the bathroom. For some reason the landlord is extremely anti-mold or mildew and even though there isn't any mold or mildew in the bathroom she still freaks out every time she goes in there. There is always a half hour lecture about the dangers of mildew. I also had to reposition some of the furniture and my bed as the landlord is a practicing fung shuei freak and always begins to rant about how everything is not in the right place and how the house is being damaged in some way. Whateva...
I tried the new Vanilla Coke after reading about it for like two months on the internet. The Vanilla flavor is not very strong which is a good thing. It kind of tasted flat, although that could be because it wasn't very cold. I would have to say that Vanilla Coke is the Congnac of soft drinks. It's a sipping soda, not something you want to chug down by the gallon.
Saturday night The Funk wanted to go to this new bar that DJ Mike was working at. Being Asian, The Funk loves to go out, get drunk, and sing Englebert Humperdink songs.
So it was The Funk, Kim, Lester, and me all at this place off of Hesperian. It was a little dive bar and it wasn't very busy. This is The Funk's favorite type of place because there is no one to get in the way of the bar or the microphone. I am not much for singing as I have a voice that would make most people want to rip their eyeballs out, so mostly I just perform at birthday parties upon the request of the special girl or boy. But I was feeling frisky Saturday night and after a few Coronas I had the mic in my hands layed down some melodious vocals. If you ever get a chance to see me in a drunken stupor you should definitely jump at the chance as you just can't pay for that kind of entertainment any more.
So as the evening goes on a group of young peepz comes into the bar. They were enjoying the display of drunkeness that The Funk and I were showcasing. They even tried to join in the fun by comsuming large amounts of alcohol and selecting songs to sing. However, every time it was their turn to sing they would just sit there and argue with each other about who was actually going to go up and sing or whether they all were going to get up and sing. This happened about 4 times during the night, each time aborting their mission at the last second.
Then finally they decide to go up for a stirring rendition of Prince's Little Red Corvette. One of their friends decided to stay at the bar, not wanting to abandon his beverage. He was the typical White Boy, Jock type. He sat at the bar, hand in the air in the arena rock satan/death metal pose, screaming "Whhhhooooooooooo". Then about half way through the song he gets up and runs full speed at the group and leaps on top of them, knocking them over and all of the karaoke equipment. This did not make DJ Mike happy. DJ Mike began picking up the equipment but The White Boy was apparently unaware that he had done anything wrong.
He proceeded to pick up a microphone and scream and grunt and stomp around the bar. DJ Mike attempted to regain posession of his microphone and this greatly upset The White Boy. Sensing that malarchy was about to break loose I stumbled over and place myself between DJ Mike and The White Boy. Of course, this had no calming effect. Malarchy had already broken loose and I was in the middle of it. Now, I would much rather be touching boobies than dealing with malarchy but the boobies were few and far between that night and the air was thick with malarchy. So I grabbed The White Boy by his hoodie and escorted him to freedom out in the parking lot. He did not appreciate being removed from the pummelling that DJ Mike and his friends were bestowing upon him in the bar and ran back in for more. At this point I decided to become a spectator and allow the proper authorities take control of the situation. Unfortunately this was the type of bar that did not inform the proper authorities about these kinds of incidents. Eventually the group was able to take The White Boy, place him in a car, and drive him far, far, away from the bar. Then I went home and went to sleep as the Fung Shuei landlord and realtor were going to pay me a visit at 10 the next morning.
8:37 a.m. - 2002-07-01
***FRIDAY NIGHT RECAP***
Friday night I went to NV and met an ex-temp and her three friends. She had been trying to get me to go out with her for about a month, but my car was still in the shop and I really wasn't in the mood to go out with anyone. We had a pretty good time acting like retards the whole night. They took turns grinding there butts against my pee-pee and I returned the favor by giving them lap dances when they were sitting. The alcohol being consumed caused us to revert to a more primal state and thus there was a lot of poo-hole poking and finger sniffing. A good time was had and I am sure we will all hook up again in the future
8:24 a.m. - 2002-07-01
Recent entries:
Oklahoma - 2005-11-07
Obey! - 2005-11-03
Back From Boston - 2005-10-27
Lots of Updates - 2005-10-24
Back to Work - 2005-10-10
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
shutupmom
devilkitty
ezi
facepunch
ann-frank
msleslie
crowhihs
sleepy-gurl
smartmule
four-eyes
crapstein
amalthea23
applerobot
sasori-gal
ilovemy240z
spritopias
goexplore
creepatron
partygirl
sarahsbrain
kirlianstate
oxfordavid
omnipre5ence
luxlust